The Compulsive Beekeeper

Posted on by Jeremy
But he wears a veil???

It’s hard to say exactly when beekeeping moved from being a healthy pastime to an all-consuming passion.   One day I’m inspecting a few frames in my only hive and  the next thing I know I’m frantically making splits to populate an entire apiary.  

So how does one know if one has crossed the line into this treacherous, precarious territory? 

  • For example, a sane beekeeper  won’t leave town in the first week of the nectar flow; an obsessive compulsive  beekeeper won’t leave town in the second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth week of the flow. 
  • Do you have a credit account with a beekeeping provider, and does your spouse use if for all of your Christmas, anniversary  and birthday shopping? 
  • Do you use one hive tool, or do you have spares in the garage, the honey house (ie kitchen) and the car in case of emergencies?
  • Do you value all living things or did you cheer when the robin that was pestering a few of your bees got pounced on by a hawk? 
  • Do you watch the bees going and coming every day, or do you hourly measure the internal temperature of each hive? 
  • Are you surprised by how much hive equipment you ordered this winter,  or do you feel that it isn’t enough?
  • Can you recite the Latin names for the various genuses of bees, and do you use them in conversation with the girls in the hive?
  • Would you like to plant more bee friendly plants?  Gardening?  Who has time to plant a garden?
  • Are you proud of your newly hatched bees, and do you replace the pictures of your children in your wallet with photos of each new bee?
  • Can you crush a small hive beetle with your hive tool and love the sound it makes as you do so?
  • Do all of your friends, all of your neighbors and your extended family know that you don’t use chemicals in your apiary?
  • When you had the wax from the comb in your hives tested, did you study for the test? 
  • In anticipation of feeding the girls with sugar syrup, did you plant your own sugar cane and beets?
  • When you want to preach to your children about the virtues of beekeeping, do you suddenly recall your decision that 60 000 kids in each hive was more than enough to have to look after, and that you passed on having children?  Besides, having to come up with 60 000 new names every six weeks is challenge enough. 
  • And when you spouse accuses you of loving your bees more than anything,  is your immediate response “What’s wrong with that?” 

If  the above doesn’t clarify your status, be mindful of the medical research group that recently advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder.  The response was gratifying; they got 3,879 responses, all of which  came from one person – a beekeeper. 

Talking of which, excuse me why I go and check on the girls … I haven’t looked at them  for at least an hour.  

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Published by Jeremy

I have spent some 75 years living and working in England,Rhodesia/Zimbabwe, South Africa and the USA, with many opportunities to learn from beekeepers in a v variety of African and European countries in between . An educator by profession, with a focus on history and group dynamics, the honey bees chose me in 2002, despite which, like many beekeepers, I lost my first two hives over winter. In 2009 I was asked by the editor of the PSBA to write a column for the monthly newsletter, which she labelled "Jeremy's Corner"; 14 years later is still continues. A rather eclectic style of content and vision developed, and these posts are based mostly on those essays. Meanwhile I was fortunate to be honored as York County's Beekeeper of there Year in 2013, and similarly for Pennsylvania in 2018.

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